There are many symptoms of being codependent in a relationship. If you read a checklist you will find a variety of topics because codependent behavior reaches well into many kinds of relationships. At the core of codependency is an attachment that entangles. One becomes overly involved and invested in a relationship.
When a spouse (or child or friend) behaves in a way that is unhealthy a codependent rushes in to become the one who rescues. A rescue is well intended. It is out of love and care for the other person that one even takes on this role. Sometimes the desire to be needed and wanted by another person far outweighs one’s own needs and wants. Codependents put forth effort. 110%. Sometimes they realize a discrepancy in effort - they are doing all the work in the relationship. Unfortunately, this pattern often repeats itself again and again in more than one relationship.
It may look like this: A spouse becomes obsessed with checking on their partner and have a burning need to know where they are at all times. Parents step in to rescue when their child never faces the consequences of their behavior. Friends take on numerous responsibilities thinking they are giving to the friendship. If you suspect you are in a codependent relationship, you are not alone. Getting yourself to a healthier place often requires taking a step toward setting realistic boundaries as well as learning to say no.