Often when there is conflict, anger often is a part of the mix. It is how we behave when we are angry that is often destructive to a relationship. A great way to learn to recognize your own anger patterns is to look at the way your family of origin handled conflict. (See prior blogs). There are numerous questions we can ask ourselves about this topic and I offer these with the hope they will be helpful in this process of discovering the source of your own struggle with anger.
How did you typically respond within the family when you were angry? What about your parents? Your sibling(s)?
Who had the most power and control within your family? How was the power/control maintained? Is it still true today? Why or why not?
Do you recognize any unhealthy patterns of anger in your present day relationships?
And the most important question might be this:
What would you like to change about your patterns of dealing with conflict and the way you express anger?
If you are practicing some unhealthy anger patterns, identifying the pattern can be an important first step in the process of changing your behavior. Learn to recognize how your patterns and behaviors impact relationships. It may be helpful to discuss this with a professional to implement change to breaking the pattern.